First things first~ do you know yourself well enough to answer this question or have you simply coasted through life without taking time to get to really get to grips with who you are? Even if you think you know yourself you might discover that your perception of self is very different from other people’s perception of you!
Why take time to find out more about ourselves?
For a very good reason- the better we know ourselves the easier it becomes to handle life because we have a more accurate idea of what will work for us and a greater understanding of how to approach life. By this I mean that we can predict how we are likely to react in certain situations, how we will handle different levels of responsibility and also how we can meet our needs.
What does it take to get to know yourself?
Getting to know yourself is not an easy process and requires 3 main commitments:
1) Patience
2) Honesty
3) Acceptance
PATIENCE
Even though we have lived with ourselves all of our lives and may have a general understanding of how we function we will require patience if we really intend to discover the true ‘me.’ Some things about ourselves are very obvious- for instance, we know our basic likes and dislikes. These can be very straight forward, eg: we prefer hot weather to cold, carrots to cabbage. Other things might benefit from further investigation because the dislike is connected to a hidden agenda. Maybe our dislike of somebody is masking jealousy or we dislike a sport because we are afraid to have a go. Fear of failure is a clue to our areas of weakness and should be faced rather than hidden away. Conversely the things we really enjoy doing usually play to our strengths and once again we need to take time to fully establish those strengths. If you are good at sport, what makes you good at sport? Are you a great team player? Do you have good hand/eye co-ordination, do you react quickly? All of these skills can be applied to other areas of life and may be significant when changing career or choosing a new partner.
HONESTY
There is no point trying to get to know yourself and refusing to face up to facts. You will discover things about yourself that you really don’t like... no-one’s perfect ... however knowledge breeds opportunity and you can take time deciding how to go about addressing these issues. If you think that identifying your strengths and weaknesses is not one of your skills you can ask someone you trust to help you do this in a constructive manner. Sometimes we think we are better at things than we actually are and this may be because we don’t listen to criticism or simply over-estimate our abilities. Once we have identified our current limitations we can work towards extending them. This could be to do with our communication skills, the importance we place on others or practical tasks. The more honest you are the more you will like yourself in the long run and the more comfortable you will feel. You may need to face things that you wish to sweep under the carpet... don’t do that; face those issues, forgive yourself, deal with the things that can be dealt with and learn your lessons so that you can move on with your life. Hidden secrets are actually weights on our shoulder. They can be buried but only once they have been addressed!
ACCEPTANCE
We need to accept who we are, what can be changed and what can’t. How well do we fit into our own lifestyle? Sometimes people are living beyond their means and may need help to sort out their finances. Acceptance is the first step towards progress and also to inner peace!
Self discovery can be vey exciting. Did you discover things about yourself that you had forgotten? For example, I was very musical as a child and used to play guitar for many years. I have no idea why I stopped but it’s something I might wish to return to. When we discover or revisit the person we are we can unveil the person we were meant to be and set out on the journey of self-fulfilment. You will need to take a look at as many areas of your life as possible including your working and personal relationships. We often act differently in different circles and it is good to identify why!
The advantage of knowing who you are is that you can create an environment to suit you and make real changes. There are too many lost people in the world living from day to day without expectation. Try taking some time out to discover yourself and become your own best friend, you have absolutely nothing to lose and plenty to gain!!
Jaz McKenzie
If you would like to write an article for Its Braap~Its Life contact itsbraap@live.co.uk
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