Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Haters~ Don’t you love ‘em!!!

As a matter of fact, NO!  I recently saw yet another Facebook status on the subject of haters and wondered… WHY? Given that there were no clues, I thought that maybe it was just a general remark to keep up the Facebook viewing figures, or possibly that person had recently experienced problems with one or more people.  Either way the subject comes around every so often, it’s a part of life so how do we deal with it?
There is only one way that I choose to deal with haters, or anyone else who intentionally sets out to upset me… WALK AWAY.  There is a very common expression that I have heard repeatedly… ‘ I love haters because they inspire me to work harder and achieve my dreams.’  NO… the thought of building an empire inspired by hatred does not appeal in the slightest. Why would you allow someone like that to affect your actions? Gloating with success is not attractive either. Yes, be inspired and work hard- but just do it! Do it because you want to prove something to yourself, to be the best you can be, to bring a sense of pride to your families and friends, to show all of your supporters, sponsors, colleagues that they were right to believe in you- and especially as evidence of your God given gifts and talents.
Haters ooze hatred towards you and they often try to draw in others to affirm their point of view. For that reason they are not worth the airspace and certainly not worth any form of retaliation! All that happens when we speak or retaliate is that we fill our mind with a strong negative vibe which will then be transmitted back into the universe. This process interferes with our feel good factor and makes us susceptible to more negative experiences. It is simply not worth it.  On top of that, how satisfied do you think a hater will feel if they know that they have had an impact on you? As with every situation in life, keep your focus elsewhere on the good things that you are experiencing- hate is NOT your problem, it is their problem. It is their jealousy, envy, negativity and ungenerous approach to life that allows these feelings to enter into their minds and take root.
 People can try to damage your reputation and others might say, ‘no smoke without fire.’  Sometimes there is not a single genuine fact in the vile comments that are made. People have their own agenda’s and might misread your actions or intentions. If you know how you have behaved and are happy with it, you do not even have to defend yourself. If you do decide to take any action, make sure it is dignified and totally professional where appropriate.  If you are overly defensive or accusatory, you will suffer and put your image at stake. You could even make people feel uncomfortable, as if they are caught in the middle, and they may feel forced to take sides or walk away from you- so always consider the effects your actions will have on others before following a course of action. 
What do you do if a hater comes crawling back? Now this is a question. We have to weigh up our principles and make a decision! Forgiveness may or may not enter into the equation. We should have forgiven our haters a long time ago and forgiveness does not mean that a person who has been forgiven has an automatic right to re-enter your circle. The answer lies with you. What happened in the first instance? That is where you will find your answer.  If you understand the situation you can make a reasoned decision but if you don’t, why would you trust that person?
Sooooo what do we do about haters? Get over it! A little further down the line most incidents have been superceeded by our usual everyday life and are best forgotten.

Jaz McKenzie
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