I GIVE THANKS FOR GOOD FRIENDS
Good friends should never be taken for granted simply
because they are good friends! People who are in our lives all the time can
easily become a part of our personal ‘wallpaper,’ remaining in the background
of our daily lives regardless of the major role they play. How often do we stop
to really appreciate them? Yes, we comment on their new clothes and hairstyles
but do we really think about the consistent support they provide except when we
hit a crisis?
Imagine you moved away
from your friends. Yes, you can chat on the phone but you can’t just pop
round for the evening, go to the cinema, clubs, parties, shopping or anything
else. It is through experiencing lack that we are often awakened to the shock
realisation of our dependency on others. Sad really when we could wallow in
appreciation! No man is an island- familiar words relating to the need for both
human companionship and communication; a reminder that genuine, good
friendships are mutually beneficial.
A really good friend actually becomes an extension of you!
Not with regards to personality, likes or dislikes, but as someone who is tuned
in, switched on and will always be looking out for you. This friend will
understand how you will react in different situations and usually has the knack
of saying the right thing. They will do their best to advise you and provide as
much support as they possibly can. Good friends often know what the other is
thinking without saying a word because friends operate on a deeper level. This
can also happen with new friends. It’s not about time, it’s about connection.
The balance of give and take may not always be equal but the
essence of friendship overrides this, and mutual support is still very evident.
It may be that that life-learning or situations change the dynamics of a
relationship from time to time, but where friendship is strong it will survive.
Timid people may suddenly grow more confident which is challenging to the more
dominant person. Friends form new friendships and these can lead to marriage,
life partnerships and children which once again alters the dynamics. Success
has killed many a friendship because the less successful person becomes
jealous. Contrary to what some people say- ‘your haters were never true friends
in the first place,’ I hold the view that we value what we have and things
change for a reason. A good friendship can end but how does that eradicate all
the good that went before? There are people who pretend to be a genuine friend
and succeed in acting like one whilst having ulterior motives throughout that
friendship. These are the people who cannot be classified as good friends and
come under the label, ‘users.’
In order to value your friendship you need to nurture and
contribute fully to each of your relationships. There are different types of
friendship and when we are secure in ourselves we recognise these for what they
are and understand the boundaries, not mistaking our partners ‘same sex’
friends as potential competition. That is the reaction of insecure people and
should it be a reality that person can no longer be viewed as your friend- if they were, respect
would have come first.
Final truth- be your own best friend and be true to
yourself. Valentine’s Day is here- celebrate romance and if you don’t have a
partner, celebrate yourself! Far better than being miserable you’re on your own
and it’s an action that will elevate your self- worth and draw others to you.
Jaz McKenzie
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