I GIVE THANKS FOR GOOD FRIENDS
Good friends should never be taken for granted simply because they are good friends! People who are in our lives all the time can easily become a part of our personal ‘wallpaper,’ remaining in the background of our daily lives regardless of the major role they play. How often do we stop to really appreciate them? Yes, we comment on their new clothes and hairstyles but do we really think about the consistent support they provide except when we hit a crisis?
Imagine you moved away from your friends. Yes, you can chat on the phone but you can’t just pop round for the evening, go to the cinema, clubs, parties, shopping or anything else. It is through experiencing lack that we are often awakened to the shock realisation of our dependency on others. Sad really when we could wallow in appreciation! No man is an island- familiar words relating to the need for both human companionship and communication; a reminder that genuine, good friendships are mutually beneficial.
A really good friend actually becomes an extension of you! Not with regards to personality, likes or dislikes, but as someone who is tuned in, switched on and will always be looking out for you. This friend will understand how you will react in different situations and usually has the knack of saying the right thing. They will do their best to advise you and provide as much support as they possibly can. Good friends often know what the other is thinking without saying a word because friends operate on a deeper level. This can also happen with new friends. It’s not about time, it’s about connection.
The balance of give and take may not always be equal but the essence of friendship overrides this, and mutual support is still very evident. It may be that that life-learning or situations change the dynamics of a relationship from time to time, but where friendship is strong it will survive. Timid people may suddenly grow more confident which is challenging to the more dominant person. Friends form new friendships and these can lead to marriage, life partnerships and children which once again alters the dynamics. Success has killed many a friendship because the less successful person becomes jealous. Contrary to what some people say- ‘your haters were never true friends in the first place,’ I hold the view that we value what we have and things change for a reason. A good friendship can end but how does that eradicate all the good that went before? There are people who pretend to be a genuine friend and succeed in acting like one whilst having ulterior motives throughout that friendship. These are the people who cannot be classified as good friends and come under the label, ‘users.’
In order to value your friendship you need to nurture and contribute fully to each of your relationships. There are different types of friendship and when we are secure in ourselves we recognise these for what they are and understand the boundaries, not mistaking our partners ‘same sex’ friends as potential competition. That is the reaction of insecure people and should it be a reality that person can no longer be viewed as your friend- if they were, respect would have come first.
Final truth- be your own best friend and be true to yourself. Valentine’s Day is here- celebrate romance and if you don’t have a partner, celebrate yourself! Far better than being miserable you’re on your own and it’s an action that will elevate your self- worth and draw others to you.