Sunday, 13 December 2015

Give Thanks~Feel Joyful WK 42- Give thanks for Celibacy!

Now I have your attention! Celibacy, an interesting topic really as celibacy is a path some people choose and a position others find themselves in. I guess there are a number of reasons why people are celibate. 

The first reason that comes to mind is to be celibate inline with religious beliefs. Somehow this creates an idyllic vision of remaining celibate until Mr/s Right enters your life and eventually you marry and settle down: in many ways this is a good thing. I think there is a great deal to be said for sticking to your principles and having the self will (POWER!) to control natural urges to such an unnatural degree. This provides true peace of mind and is definitely an excellent basis for trust. Trust is often a little shaky for people who have entered numerous relationships with different partners before settling down. But then again, trust is trust and in a great relationship past patterns should not really matter- focus should be on the current partner and developing close bonds which should generate trust within a secure framework.

Celibacy can arise naturally: for some reason people fail to find a particular person sexually attractive thereby that person remains celibate. Sometimes it’s hard to define why that should be, especially if the person concerned is not bad looking, fairly friendly and has a reasonably active life. I imagine that time is usually the healer and it’s a case of meeting the right people who genuinely connect. This should be easier with online dating becoming such a huge business.

I have to say that celibacy is not my favourite flavour so to speak however it can prove useful! Space in life is essential if we really want to take good care of ourselves. I believe the line is drawn with celibacy at one end, promiscuity at the other and differently balanced relationships in the middle with little clusters of frustration up and down the marker! Celibacy isn’t the only cause of frustration yet frustration seems more prominent during a phase of celibacy, especially when we have sex on the mind- and don’t pretend that’s not the case. If it is, there's a good chance your life is out of balance! Frustration can occur when ‘same old’ hits home unless both partners make a determined effort to ‘spice up their love life’ as the saying goes- boring phrase don’t you think but spices- interesting! When you have the kids around constantly or work seriously long hours it is sometimes easier to give up than start working at yet another thing- that’s when sex doesn’t stand a chance- think of England and phew- sleep. This is why it’s good to have a weekend away with your partner now and again as relaxation is conducive to much improved sex. If not, you may become a celibate couple and that’s when trouble often strikes because one party or the other wakes up and smells the perfume!

So, what are the advantages of celibacy? 
  • Celibacy enables us to focus on the things we consider important, allowing energy to flow in an uninterrupted way as directed. During such periods we should be able to make excellent progress with projects etc.  
  • Celibacy creates space in which to think. We can look at our lives without emotional ties/involvement and this can prove invaluable to our development and future. I have to say that this is brilliant because we can settle down and decide how we want life to be and the type of people we would like to meet. 
  • Let’s give good sexual health a fleeting mention although these days it’s become a widespread problem.

My final thought on celibacy- Lenny Kravitz publicly declared that he’d turned celibate when he ‘found himself’ during the ‘Love Revolution’ days. I’m not sure how long that lasted but my word, you should have seen the women’ bigging him up’ for his decision – so there you go, celibacy has the power to be socially acceptable as opposed to being a pretty dire condition.

Jaz McKenzie
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