Growing in Love~ Jimi and Wendy Sotimehin

Hello Braapers- lovely topic for today to inspire us all! Growing In Love- Jimi & Wendy Sotimehin.

(BRAAP= Be Prepared And Act Promptly.)

‘When we were newly weds, I thought I better enjoy feeling excited about being married; it would naturally fade with all the trials and storms that life would bring, but we would cross that bridge when we got to it.

It hasn’t faded; it has grown immensely over the years. I smile when I see the Bible verse, ‘He who finds a wife finds a good thing.’

Happy anniversary Wendy. I can proudly say I know what loves feels like because I found you.’

~ Jimi

I love this post by my friend Jimi - with a passion! It is just so heartfelt and brimming to the gills with true joy and understanding of love; so I had to phone him up to discover the secret behind the sentiment. I asked why? What is behind this love of yours? This is such a great question that millions of people would probably love to know the answer to, especially in a world full of failing relationships and all sorts of horrors.

I’m such a lover of Divorce Court and Paternity Court- they’re very addictive programmes, but not healthy being full of drama of the worst kind. It's clearly time to give them up once again because we absorb negativity more easily than we think. I have to say, judge Lynn Toller’s advice is priceless and you can learn a lot about give and take within relationships from her.

 What I wanted to know from Jimi was how their love had morphed into something so powerful and sustainable. Jimi’s answer was really simple and relatable. ‘Wendy never tried to change me.’ I totally understand this because it reflects my greatest desire, to be with someone who I accept as they are and who accepts me equally.

Once you strip away initial attraction you start getting to know the real person, and that person is probably not going to align with your ideal 100%. In fact, how boring would it be if idealism was realised? The important quality here is mutual respect. As Jimi said, people will make the necessary changes when they love someone because of their desire to meet the needs of that person- (or words to that effect.)

That said, we cannot ignore what we don’t like in other people; we need to address it. The way in which we do so is important and can strengthen or weaken a relationship. If you consider a specific behaviour disrespectful then say so. This allows a person to act on it, or, explain their point of view- after all, who’s to say you’re right in the first place! Mutual understanding is a key factor in love and this includes aspects that may not sit well with you but are fundamental to the other person. Taking this approach is not limited to couple’s relationships, taking an open approach in an effort to understand other people will help you in general. Downright nasty habits are going to get on your nerves, so simple things like this should be easy to address. If someone is disrespectful early on and knows you don’t like it but is determined not to change- there’s your red flag. You need to decide whether they have enough redeeming qualities to make this relationship worth your while or not! If they do, you may as well save your words because they’re wasted anyway- you never know, keep quite and they might surprise you- after all, nagging kills relationships.

Stand By Your Man- Wendy also supports Jimi in his business and personal development. It is good to have a partnership where you encourage one another, but what happens when you can see them heading into difficulty and they won’t listen to advice? It’s worth remembering that people have to make their own decisions at times and none of us always get it right. If your partner gets it wrong, ‘I told you so,’ is not going to help! Be supportive, be part of the healing process and be kind. Kindness is a good quality and easily overlooked, as said before, it does not mean a person is weak. A relationship is not meant to be a battlefield and there are no points to score.

The purpose of this article was to literally expanded on Jimi’s two points- Accept people as they are and support them.

What I will add is a final thought already expressed within Jimi's words. Love takes time to develop. People always talk about ‘falling in love.’ NO- that’s not for me. Falling is not a good experience- growing is far better. Grow into love, take your time and don’t bother focusing on the status of your relationship. Measuring according to your personal barometer is not going to make any difference to real feelings as these will emerge gradually. I do think that there is such a thing as love at first sight, but even then, this needs space to solidify. So, take your time with relationships and have a good idea of the type of person you really want to be with so you know what works for you and what doesn’t.

Finally, congrats and Happy Anniversary to Jimi and Wendy- and here’s to many more fruitful years.

‘Lockdown. How I came out on top.’ Interview with JimiSotimehin

Over to you!!! Do you have a great story to tell? What have you overcome and how? Are you organizing an event that you’d love to share? Have you written an article, poem or short story you would like featured? If so, please contact me with brief info via my Facebook Group Its Braap and I will get back to you. And subscribe to our YouTube channel at  Its Braap TV

Jaz McKenzie~ The Word Magician