Wednesday, 7 December 2011

Crazy Ass Government! Don't you Agree?


This poem is the result of rage! I signed up for a management course only to discover that I am expected to take un-necessary exams which I simply don’t have the time for. Of course people don’t bother to explain all this to you because they want the free government money, however if I don’t do the course I have to repay the full whack. Obviously I will check the paper work but the interesting thing is that it’s taking a few days to even discover which examination board the maths & English are with... this is what happens when you ask questions slightly outside the box. I shall go away & study my paperwork to see where the small print is squashed pertaining to this ‘clause.’

Ultimately however, you can take a horse to water but you can’t make it drink... if you follow my thinking! 4 hours a week home study I was told, so 4 hours a week max it is. As for everything else, BUSINESS AS NORMAL!


CRAZY ASS GOVERNMENT

Sign up, sign up, sign up, SIGN UP NOW!!!
Government’s going Crazeeeeee
3 thousand pounds for Freeeeeee
training; Why not spend it on Me?
After all,
I pay my taxes & it’s a little
w-i-n-d-f-a-l-l
kindly bequeathed to meeeeeee
in a manner of speaking.
So I got sort of Freakin
e-x-c-i-t-e-d
at the very idea.
Only now I fear
that this was a poorly calculated & possibly foolish move,
for there were 3 factors that were not properly understood
at the time
I signed up;
Daaam, a stitch in time saves 9!
Outta luck
b-e-c-a-u-s-e
too much work,
+ English,
+ Maths
& I’m seriously concerned I’m gonna crash!
• Stress attack
• Time won’t wind back
• No room to slack
All those years spent writing reports & calculating fees.
But because this country has a terminal disease
called a severe lack of education amongst the masses;
government dickheads, who sit around on their asses,
with all the infinite wisdom that their restricted minds possess
dictate: mature students such as myself need to take, not tests
BUT EXAMS!
SOOOOOO,
GOTTA CRAM
every imaginable aspect of English & Math* into my working day:
Punctuation, fractions, verbs & percentages.
I SAY
The only fraction I need anyway is,
‘If I have 2KG of rice, what % must I use to feed 40 kids?’
Now that’s the real deal, agreed, when looking at a real biz?
Hey wadda dey tek dis ting for?
Dem nah no you caan tek a hoss to water & mek he drink?
Di govment men shuda no di score
Before dem throw it inna tank, DEY NAH CAN TINK!
You see, you can’t make sense out of no(N)sense.
So I resign to the idiotic educational vision
Of taking unnecessary exams, although it’s criminal.
Well, there’s not much more to be said
£3000 to repay for opting out
OR
Stress ‘till you drop down dead!

Jaz McKenzie 2011 ©
*whatever happened to ‘maths?’ anyway?

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