Self Acceptance is a feeling of contentment within the individual; understanding & accepting where you are at the present time within your life…
Why is self-acceptance so important?
I believe that self acceptance is significant because if you do not accept yourself for who you really are you can generate many barriers and issues throughout your journey in life. Some of these problems are internal, affecting you on a personal level and these issues will in turn affect how others treat you. Some of the issues that I have come to realise may surround individuals, creating a struggle with self acceptance and includes factors such as low self esteem, denying who you are or being blind to what you really want; this means you may suffer from low self esteem and this can lead people to live a lie.
If we do not accept ourselves then we may push to be what we are not and the result of this is a false life filled with unhappiness which is connected to the last two points. Denial of self prevents you enjoying life to the full by ignoring your inner voice and your heart; inner initiatives that should guide you through life and push you towards accepting the things that you cannot change thus defining yourself as an individual with meaning and purpose, above all being happy with the person you truly are.
Failure to accept your true self can sadden your soul and lead you to become a victim of self doubt. When you fail to listen to your inner self and trust your own judgement, you may start listening to others and believing what they tell you. Asking for advice from the right people at the right time is perfectly acceptable, however you need to weigh up advice and reach YOUR own conclusion. Remember, sometimes we do not know people as well as we think and it might be that they do not really have your interest at heart. Sometimes we are really in the dark, maybe a decision involves another person who is not revealing their own agenda. To do what is best for you we must learn to trust in yourself and the judgement of self. The more good decisions we make the more our confidence and self esteem increase.
Low self confidence can follow when you are unsure of who you are and what you want from your path in life. I know this because I have experienced these feelings and was once a victim, being unable to accept & be comfortable with myself, I simply could not find myself and felt alone, I believed the negative things people thrust upon me day after day, however I came to accept myself with time and so can you!
How can I accept myself?
Accepting yourself is your own personal journey which only you can experience, so everyone will go about finding themselves differently. In order to truly find and accept yourself you must take time to think about who you are, your personality, your background, your ethical principles (what you believe is right or wrong) and through this you must understand that there are both positive and negative aspects of your character that you should accept as these as part of who you are. There will be things about yourself which you will not like however you can improve on them but first you must acknowledge and accept them. You may be able to do this by writing them down, even more so if you are a visual learner like myself. Write down how you can improve yourself and read them every other day! You must begin to understand and know yourself before your journey can continue and you will come to realise who you are and what defines your character, making you an individual.
Motivation: We use our lack of acceptance (punishment - because it feels bad) as motivation to get us to do the things we need to and refrain from other behaviours that we know we need to address and we may need to ignore interference from others. Sometimes people don’t like it when they see us change and do our own thing because they start to feel that they no longer know us and the balance of the relationship changes.
Self Judgement: Typically, we Judge ourselves unfavourably with the hope it will motivate us to change. We hope if we feel bad enough about ourselves, then maybe that will motivate us to change.
Does this work?
Sometimes, but usually only in the short term. Most times all it does is to cause us to feel bad which saps the energy we might have used to make changes. It can be a vicious cycle. It works exactly counter to what you wanted to do.
“When you begin to accept yourself the way you are right now, you begin a new life with new possibilities that did not exist before because you were so caught up in the struggle against reality that that was all you could do.”
I know that you will recognise when you are truly accepting yourself because it feels fantastic! It’s an agreement with yourself to appreciate, validate, accept and support who you are at this very moment, even those parts you’d like to eventually change…Self acceptance, the beginning of your journey to the real you.
Jessica Lea
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