What is a hater? Let's look at some well known words to clarify this briefly.
Definition of a Hater:
A hater is someone who is jealous and envious and spends all their time trying to make you look small so they can look tall. They are very negative people to say the least. Nothing is ever good enough! When you make your mark, you will always attract some haters… That’s why you have to be careful with whom you share your blessings and your dreams, because some folk can’t handle seeing you blessed…
Maya Angelou, 2008
What can I say? All of us have a Hater right now in our lives even if we don’t know it. This is the world we live in; it’s a yin and yang, negative and positive balance. The world is not just black and white, there are grey areas and it’s these grey areas that make life interesting. This is where you need to read between the lines, where things can have double meanings and the path is actually a zig zag, not straight as you once envisioned. This is where your Haters hide.
I heard a statement once “your Haters are your motivators“- hand snap! I find this to be true. If we only had people around us that were positive all the time we would be comfortable. For those of us that like a mission or a fight this would give us nothing to fight against or prove. When we get comfortable in our daily lives we sometimes forget about our missions, our dreams, basically our bigger picture. All the haters that come along are simply a reminder of our worth. Just because you do not see it at this time, their presence in our lives is actually a reminder that they see your worth.
Haters provide the motivation we need to push ourselves and let's keep it real, without them our lives would be boring ~ Thank you Haters !!
In some cases Haters are not always “outsiders,” they can be family members or close ‘friends’ too.
Not so long ago I experienced a very common scenario with “family Haters.” The situation that occured tested me greatly and as I decided what I wanted to do with my life, yep you guessed, my haters surfaced. It started with the usual round of negative comments aimed at putting down me down with every step I was making. I learnt a lot in this period and in turn became selfish, putting myself and my journey first. This did not go down well but I couldn’t allow people to stunt my growth, especially when change was necessary. I had always done what was expected of me and the moment I developed clarity and felt my inner strength it did not matter about whether my Haters were in my family; all that mattered is that my journey to self-empowerment had begun... and I planned to enjoy every moment of it good and bad. To keep family connections in good order I began to connect and learn more about my compassionate side. Through this I learnt that I was not the only person who was struggling in this situation. So without losing myself or my family I learnt how to recognize when I needed to take responsibility for myself.
Here are three types of haters you may recognize and ways to deal with them... hope you will find this useful!
1 – Headache hater
This is the small voice in YOUR head. The one that tells you that you cannot achieve your dreams. Though small, this voice can be extremely damaging. * Encourage yourself and tell yourself that you can achieve your dreams. Remind yourself of your worth to keep your mood positive and uplifted. Remember you are your most trusted friend.
2- Hand holding hater
These haters are friends or family members. They love you but may be struggling with conflicting feelings of losing you and being left behind when you move forward. * Awareness is key, do not become paranoid thinking everyone is out to get you. Just understand, know and love yourself as this will provide the protection you need if a hand holding hater happens to come along on your journey.
3 – Hidden haters
Haters that watch from afar. They are the people you know through others that you see once in a while. They wait and watch for news of your down falls or even for the chance to see it for themselves. * Do not give these haters any head space. They are in the best place... afar! When you do see them smile and do not volunteer to take on unnecessary baggage.
A lot of people see Haters negatively but soon learn to smile and rejoice once they realize that they can be used as a springboard to push us harder and move us closer to achieving our goals and dreams. Haters provide recognition and allow us to reinvent ourselves time and time again: what can be bad about that!
A little warning: do not get dependent on collecting Haters- more importantly, be your own motivator. Feeling that hunger in your belly can give you a boost to go out into the world and grab the Bull by its horns. Just acknowledge that everything has its place in your life, so keep the haters in theirs and you will be able to fly!
Peach AKA Pink x
If you would like to see more of Pink, check out her blog! http://reflectingpink.wordpress.com/?s=pink
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