My Fiancee or the PIGS?... unbelievable~read on!


I stumbled across a programme the other day where estate agents help a young couple buy a home in the UK and a holiday home abroad... in this case, Barcelona. The couple (let’s call them Peter Pan and Wendy as the names fit quite well,)wished to purchase their homes before the wedding which was in around 3 weeks time. Clearly they were very well off, selling their London home and seeking a home in the country for their ideal lifestyle.

The specifications were:
A large detached house with masses of land, a good sized kitchen so that Wendy could run a catering business, period property with original features, no immediate neighbours and the space to keep a couple of pigs!

Peter Pan and Wendy had looked at around 200 properties before receiving expert help but couldn’t agree on anything previously. The first property they rejected for lack of land. The second had something else wrong with it. The third had masses of land, loads of space and character however Peter Pan threw a little hissy fit and refused to go in- simply because it was semi-detached. Wendy really liked it but Peter Pan wouldn’t be persuaded because he wanted detached... end of.

Phil, the estate agent, spent a lot of time explaining to Peter Pan and Wendy that they were unlikely to meet all of their requirements on their existing budget so a compromise would be necessary. Phil then showed them the final house. This was perfect; a huge detached house with an incredible view and plenty of land, enough to pen a couple of pigs! Was this good enough? NO. Peter Pan decided that there wasn’t quite enough room for his pigs. Wendy ran out of patience, ’I’m not letting 2 pigs come between me and this view!’ she stated... boldly hmmm. ‘We’re going to have to talk about this,’ said Peter Pan. Phil commentated in an off the record way that Peter Pan cared more about the pigs than Wendy (!!!) and went off in search of the vendor to ask whether he would sell the adjoning paddock. The vendor said no but agreed to rent half the paddock which meant that Peter Pan could easily have his pigs. Sounds sensible enough to the majority of us but not to Peter Pan... Peter Pan's pigs had to live on Peter Pan's land!! Phil sets off again to negotiate with the vendor... 'everybody can be bought for a price, what's yours?' enquired Phil. 'There is no price because the land is not for sale,' states the vendor.

The following day Phil decided to take Peter Pan and Wendy to revisit this ideal property and encouraged a little switch over exercise to look at it from each other’s point of view. Surprisingly this worked- in Peter Pan’s favour when Wendy decided that the property was a little gloomy! Eventually Peter Pan and Wendy decided to leave it until after the wedding and went into rented accommodation in the meantime.


With part 1 over Barcelona proved to be a revelation! Both Peter Pan and Wendy quite liked the first property however the second was cramped and Wendy hated it; in fact neither of them liked it until they were told it had a mooring for one boat which whacked up the rental price. Peter Pan’s greedy little eyes showed £££ signs whilst tapping away on his laptop. ‘I’m not living here, absolutely not.’ Stated Wendy. 'You can’t always have everything you want.’ Said Peter Pan,‘We need to talk about it.' Fortunately Kirsty (the second estate agent) decided to avoid confronatation and hurriedly whisked them off to look at another property which they both fell in love with & the big bonus- Peter Pan would be able to indulge in his hobby of sky diving. Soooo the offer was made following Peter Pan's meticulous calculations, and accepted. The couple were filmed spending an enjoyable short break away.

Back to the UK with home hunting resuming some while after the wedding. Peter Pan and Wendy eventually found the perfect home following a year of renting and were thrilled to finally unpack their wedding presents. Both loved the place.. the draw back? Plenty of land but it had a small kitchen so Wendy happily put her dreams on hold... and guess what??? All that land and not a pig in sight!!!

Phil established that they were both happy despite the time taken to find the perfect property. ‘What kept you going Wendy?’ asked Phil. ‘Peter Pan kept reassuring me that we just had to hold out long enough and the right property would come along.’ said Wendy looking all starry eyed, ’I’m so glad it’s behind me and I never have to think about moving again. Now we can get on with our lives.’


There you have it... Peter Pan and Wendy... destined to live happily ever after? Somehow I think not. They say love is blind, but how blind can you be when your husband is prepared to sacrifice the perfect house for the sake of a couple of non-existent pigs without due consideration and expects you to holiday in a place you thoroughly dislike? In Wendy’s eyes Peter Pan is perfect, wonderful, a great decision maker and she is so lucky to have such an amazing husband. What do you think?

Jaz McKenzie

Comments