Tuesday, 30 July 2013

WHY FOCUS ON FEAR? Understanding fear & how to cope.




WHY FOCUS ON FEAR?

BECAUSE: Fear holds us back, encourages us to procrastinate and effectively keeps  us prisoners within our current situation.

This might sound a little dramatic but you only have to look at fear in its worst state- a phobia, to see the extent that fear can really corrupt lives. For example, people with agoraphobia cannot leave their homes, being afraid of crowds or open spaces and so they quite literally live in a box.  What do you think are the top 10 phobias? I’ll add them separately so have a go at guessing! Of course, many of us can experience phobic tendencies without the full blown phobia!.

There are different types of fear:

·        Extreme fear in very real, dangerous situations which we have no forewarning of causing us to act on instinct.

·        Learned fear. Domestic violence is a clear example. We know what to expect and brace ourselves accordingly.

·        Fear of the unknown usually experienced in new and challenging situations.

·        Fear due to lack of knowledge or skills. Maybe we have no idea how to sort out our debt so rip up all the outstanding demands!

·        Fear due to lack of self- confidence. We know what we need to do but lack the ability to do it.

The first fear  in this list is the only fear we can do nothing about. Everything else is within our power because we have the power to change. We can change our thinking, gain new knowledge, learn to strategize and find support. Here is a popular, useful acronym for fear:

False Evidence Appearing Real~ this helps us to look our fears in the face and decide how we are going to deal with them. Once we gain understanding of our fear we are able to do something about it. Fear is usually false as it results from our perception. If the situation we fear is genuine, everyone would be afraid of it. This is not the case as there are people who are afraid of nothing; difficult situations are simply seen as a new challenge regardless of how dire they appear.

As with many things in life, the best way to fight fear is with fear so here is the FEAR FORMULA:

Facts- spend time study the real facts, not your initial assumptions

Energize- Fill yourself with energy. Make sure you have enough sleep instead of sleepless nights!

Aspire- set out what you need to do in order to overcome the situation

Resolve- take action and do everything to deal with the situation ensuring you reach a satisfactory conclusion.

Dealing with fear is not easy, but living in fear is even harder. Once you learn to face your fears your confidence will grow and you will be better equipped to deal with life, being more determined in the future. 

Jaz McKenzie~ the 10 top phobias will be posted shortly!!
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