Tuesday, 27 May 2014

Have Questions~ Have Answers #18- How easy is it to fool ourselves?


This is an interesting and very individual question which we will each answer differently. Clearly there are as many answers as there are people and situations however the betting is that we have all fooled ourselves at some point, probably in relation to an issue of great importance.

Everyday there are people walking around believing the best of a person whilst underneath they are experiencing doubt. People like to believe the best or the worst! Either way, where doubt exists your beliefs are working as a defense mechanism to elevate your position or to prepare you for the worst-' I knew that all along.' Romantic relationships are an obvious- is my guy/girl cheating on me? Depending upon our level of self confidence or pride it is easy to create mis-beliefs. We add up past experiences, apply them to the situation and form a conclusion- until we have proof we only have our gut feeling to go on!

Fooling yourself can have serious consequences and it will always undermine your inner confidence. If we start to listen to our gut instinct we can nip things in the bud before they accelerate and any real harm is done. To be honest with yourself can be quite hard, it might mean admitting faults, an unkindness, envy... many emotions that we prefer not to deal with but through such honesty we have the opportunity for self improvement and increased inner strength/self confidence.

Self honesty can be hard to swallow in relation to ambition. Look at the people who enter talent shows and clearly lack talent- especially those who believe they can sing whilst the world sits grimacing! It is unkind to encourage people in the wrong way- there is usually a way of saying what you mean without being overly blunt or cruel. To let someone think they can sing when they cannot is unkind in itself, especially if they end up being laughed at.

If you constantly fool yourself the question is why? What image are you projecting? Are you hiding from your faults or pretending they don't exist? An extreme example is an alcoholic who genuinely believes they are in control. Holding on to an acceptable image instead of seeking help- in whatever area of your life- is not a good move, so identify the true underlying problems.

Next time you find yourself fooling yourself stop to wonder why- self honesty is the best road to progress and good working relationships with others. Do yourself a favour and be honest with yourself- life may be challenging but it will also be more rewarding!

Jaz McKenzie

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