Sunday, 25 June 2017

How do you appear to others?


This is a very intriguing picture, a challenge- and boy do we like a challenge! So I'm going to challenge you further!

We have a whole range of looks and there are many amongst these faces; serenity, happiness and degrees of darkness, light and shade; all of which form our personalities. Interestingly, we often speak about ourselves as having a public and private face, referring to our overall demeanor, but there is also a difference between how we look and how we imagine we look! Being aware of yourself and how things affect you, follwoed by how we express this is a key skill that we neglect far too often, so let's challenge ourselves!

THE CHALLENGE:
To create awareness of inner emotion and external reflection. 

Our faces so often show our feelings so it is good to know how we look to the external world. It is good to create an enhanced awareness of how people react to you. Instead of just talking, tune into people's receptivity. Are they chatting comfortably with you or do they seem reserved, on edge, bored? Look at how you're looked at! This is not direct mirroring but it is certainly a reflection of interaction. People's expressions during conversation may be a response to the way you are looking at them. You could be in a bad mood and have lightened up your speech but not your face! It's easy to do if you are feeling impatient or upset yourself, so it's worth checking in with your emotions and making a concerted effort to change your expression before relaying information to others. There's a very common phrase that comes to mind, especially when dealing with children- as my son says to his eldest, 'fix your face!'

Sometimes we can be so focused on thought that we drift from conversation and may look distant; this can be deemed rude by other people. If you don't feel like contributing, excuse yourself. If at work, you are paid to do a job and throughout your working day mental attention is mandatory. It's no good looking miserable at work or in similar situations, this brings the team down. Take a couple of minutes where possible to pull yourself back together, after all, your problems are not other people's concern and they deserve the best of you. Even if your work colleagues are your best friends they need a break, so discuss things outside working hours.

It is very easy to pull faces without realising it. Shock is an automatic look as is anger in the first instance. When you feel an emotion, let your mind take over for a second and correct your expression. This takes practice but will assist you in many situations, especially job interviews! Example- Okay, that's a tough question but I'm going to continue smiling while I gather my thoughts- done it many times.

There are people we have all the time in the world for and others we can't stand! Truth. Never allow your feelings to enable disrespect, even if you feel you have reason to do so. If people think differently to you that's fine, even if their argument makes no sense to you. Be courteous and listen to other people's points of view. If you don't you will probably look impatient and as if you're just waiting for your chance to get a word in.

Facial expressions are an important part of our body language and very often we read them automatically, hence our reactions to others, so it is good to know how we come across and whether our expressions are appropriate. There are times when we have no idea how we look. I read in a fictional story about a woman who was smitten with a guy and as she approached him, before he saw her, she saw him looking annoyed and checking his watch. Something in his expression told her she had misjudged him, so you took a cab home! There's a lot to that so think about it.

I'm going to round this off quickly by saying, getting to know yourself is an important, on-going process so it is wise to understand your expressions, after all, your public face speaks volumes!

Jaz McKenzie~ The Word Magician  Contact: itsbraap@live.co.uk

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