Everything is a matter of perspective- we know this, but how often do we apply it to our thinking?
When something happens in life we tend to dive in from our own perspective. But what exactly is our perspective and how did we acquire it?
Firstly, let's look at our feelings- how does the situation make us feel?
Feelings are a key factor in determining perspective because they tend to rule our thoughts. If we feel good about a situation we manufacture more good thoughts and, likewise, when we feel bad our thoughts take us in a downward spiral. Whatever the situation, our feelings will dictate our initial reaction and if we don't call them to account quickly we may take action in ways that we regret later. The same can apply in good situations. How you might ask? When something is really good we can almost burst with excitement and instead of keeping it quiet for a while we can say too much too soon as it's easy to get carried away!
Situations that result in fear, worry, anguish, pain or anger can create so much agitation in the mind that it is easy to react very harshly without giving anything much thought. Instead of taking time out to calm down and try to reassess the situation more from an outside perspective, people often end up doing things they later regret such as shouting, mouthing off about something on social media or sending angry/inappropriate texts. It is far better to stop, look at your feelings and identify the triggers before deciding how to react because you may be coming from a perspective that is actually dictated by your gut.
Feelings are very powerful and when things seem to go right and then turn on us it can be hard to believe or accept. In the face of adversity it is best to put your feelings to one side and take a quick look at the facts and your life in general. In my case I believe the universe always works in my best interest, so when things appear to be going wrong I stop and think through everything that has gone right. We have a family situation that has been time-consuming and it looked as if we were knocking on closed doors. It had become very intense and I felt it was taking up too much of my time and my thoughts, so I took the decision to step back and consider everything that had happened in the last three months and re-affirmed how all needs were met above and beyond our family expectations. I actively thought about the fact that the universe knows best and knows things we are unaware of. This took my feelings away from worry and anxiety, placing them back under my control. I took this step on Thursday evening when I couldn't see a solution as doors were closing and come Friday, out of the blue, we received new information which provided three previously unknown options. I trust the universe to create the best solution from these options because our situation is dictated by the powers that be.
Previous experience- what we already know, but does it apply?
We have a great deal of learned behaviour which we have acquired through conditioning and life experience but is it always applicable? The fact is, learned behaviour will resurface time and again but it was learned in response to others, not necessarily the new people who enter our lives. Some of our perspectives are to do with self perception and confidence. We tend to operate within our comfort zone which may not be a comfortable zone but is comfortable in that it is familiar. This is what causes us to repeat patterns and sadly, when repeating these patterns we can unintentionally chase our dreams away.
One very common example where we unintentionally repeat patterns frequently occurs in new relationships. If someone does something that reminds us of an ex-partner or causes some uncomfortable feelings we can form unfair judgements because our perspective is tainted. We might see red flags where they do not exist and pull away from a relationship that could have been good had we faced those fears and worked on them, or at least give the person the benefit of the doubt and watched how things progress. Instead of allowing preconceptions to dominate your thoughts try changing your thinking and/or behaviours. This is not easy but increases your confidence and broadens your perspective. Sadly, the reality is, when a mind shuts down based on previous perspectives it will continue to do so and will keep you in the same position until you make some changes.
Pre-set perceptions also apply to the challenges in life. If you have done something and failed before it does not mean that you will fail again. Your pre-set perspective may be of failure preventing you from recognising the 'news' in a situation. You might have changed significantly and can now cope as you have new strategies or new knowledge, but existing fear stops you from trying. If your key mindset maintains a positive overall perspective in all things you will strive to overcome obstacles and life will offer you more opportunities. Alternatively, if your perspective is that life owes you or you are always unlucky then it is likely that you are wallowing in self pity, blaming others for your circumstances and reducing your expectations as you have given your power away. Adults have to take responsibility for themselves which means 'dumping' bad attitudes and adopting attitudes that come from a forward thinking perspective.
One final perspective I will touch on that stops people from achieving is the permanent illness cycle. If things go badly wrong we can harbour this in our bodies and suffer many illnesses. This is unintentional although some people actively seek attention through being ill, consciously or subconsciously. I have seen this on many occasions and Caroline Myss has spoken about the 'wound culture.' I noticed this in myself with Covid. I relate very well to those who are also suffering with long Covid and couldn't work out how to move away from this. Now I am putting it behind me. I am tired of being tired and this has been exacerbated due to doing a very physical job. I have been so exhausted recently that my son said, 'Mum, you have to choose your pain.' He went on to provide some options from a commonsense perspective. I thought about it and decided to apply a different perspective. I love my job but have long Covid so what could I do given I'm already taking the B vitamins, iron tablets etc? Well, I decided my body is the issue and that is with me 24/7 so it's time to command all my cells to energise, clear toxins, be healthy and have great immunity. My colleague thinks I'm nuts but guess what? This weekend I feel pretty normal and am not carrying that exhaustion as I was before and am not overly-tired. There have been other factors that assisted with the improvement however, every time feelings of tiredness start welling up during the day I remind my body of its purpose and this seems to override them. I'm not saying I won't have times when I am exhausted but focus is everything. I'm now totally focused on energy and health instead of letting my mind wander to the tiredness of the past.
Perspectives apply to every area of life. We bring up our children according to current thinking because the world is constantly changing. You only have to look at nutritional advice, conspiracy theories or education to under stand this. Have to say, when my children were taught subtraction by the addition method I nearly blew a gasket! That one's probably out of the window now and there will be another method for the Grandkids. Anyway, do feel free to add your thoughts in the comment section below.
Jaz McKenzie~ The Word Magician
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